G.K. Hall and Co., 1989, $17.95, ISBN 0-8161-4943-7, 431 pages, hardback

I'm not sure Mr. Rooney would like to know that I bought his book at a discount bookstore. It was in the section "3 for $5." Even worse, the book was once the property of the Driscoll Public Library in Devine, TX. It still possessed the punch card (taken out six times) and the cards from the card catalog.

Evidently, the Driscoll Public Library made a clean sweep of Rooney's book. It may be the wit and wisdom of his reprinted newspaper columns no longer graces a small corner of Texas. Maybe six times is too few to be popular. Perhaps seven was the cutoff. If only one more Driscollite had taken out the book, it might still appear in the shelves.

Or maybe, the technology of the Internet doomed his place in the racks. Since these are newspaper columns, you can just get them off the Web, making the book of collected columns redundant. Star Trek once had an episode where a computer called M5 made Captain Kirk obsolete. Star Fleet called him Captain Dunzel, but only until M5 went haywire and Kirk talked it into oblivion. Then he was the hero. I'm pretty sure Rooney would like to talk the Internet into oblivion, but then we'd have to call him Captain Rooney. I'm also pretty sure that's the first time anyone has compared Andy Rooney to James T. Kirk. Back to Driscoll's loss and my gain.

I enjoyed reading his observations on Americana, much the way I enjoy reading his weekly column in my newspaper, or hearing his weekly commentary on 60 Minutes. His is an unpretentious viewpoint, loaded with common sense and a hint of exasperation at the changing face of American life. Mostly, he's against the creeping mediocritization of American values, which means we're acquiescing to ineptitude, greed, and shortcuts--not only in big things like politics, citizenship, and manners, but smaller things like the number of saltines in a box of crackers.

I tend to agree with much of what he writes...not all, but most. The back cover mentions "Rooney's Regulars." That's the first time I ever heard the phrase, and I certainly loathe it. People who enjoy a book like Not That You Asked... are independent thinkers who would never stoop to being a named group...well, perhaps if it involved government grants for purchasing library books.

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