BattleTechnology acknowledges that the use of sophisticated bugging equipment is a great invasion of privacy. In theory this widespread practice should be condemned. Since we do not live in an ideal universe, and since somone was going to print what would have been the private thoughts of a man to his diary - no, let's be honest - since it was a unique opportunity to see into the minde of an enigmatic and private man, we are printing the contents of this anonymous but unmistakeably authenticdisk.The individual who supplied us with the diary entry swears that she wishes only to have the Captain General more fairly understood by the general public. It has been a long evening. What was supposed to be a family dinner turned as usual into a council meeting, except that he had fewer supporters in the family. They were all saying goodnight to Bronwen now: The confident nephew who never seems to age. The dashing son who never seems to doubt himself. The youngest son, the quiet one who watches. Duncan. Duggan. Thomas. Duncan had brought his bodyguards again. The palace cooks made chicken paprikash, after all these years, still a favorite from his childhood. They'd served some crisp local wine; it should have been perfect except for the company. She moves behind him, not so quietly as to alarm his battle reflexes. She reaches out, begins to rub his neck. Her hands know just where to find the tension. As they probe and knead the knotted muscles, Janos Marik gives a great sigh. The recording disk clicks on as he begins to speak. "Where does it hurt, Bronwen? My body is reflecting the questions in my mind. I wish you could sooth the pains and tangles there as easily as you - uug - yes, right there - take care of my aching back. How will history regard the Fourth Succession War? How will the actions I've taken during this war be remembered? Will they say I was indecisive? Cowardly? Stupid? A wise statesman who kept his people as safe from a stupid war as could be arranged? I've giving up hoping that anyone will ever understand me, or understand what it's like to be The Marik. Lately I've come to understand that only historians even try to understand - and they all have axes to grind. Oh, my children, the Parliament, they try to understand me well enough to manipulate me. But to care for the truth, for an honest assessment of what I tried for, what I want to accomplish? Never. You see, I do know my failings. When I first took the Captain Generalcy, I had such high ideals. I was going to unify House Marik, to realize our potential for peacetime expansion and growth. We're a region of merchants, butthat's not a weakness, it's a strength. I gave my tutors more than one good argument for the theory that new developments in history were almost entirely due to the intelligence, self-interest, and enlightened culture of the merchant class. We were war torn then, and shattered. Corruption was everywhere. For two years I traveled constantly, seeing for myself every corner of the Free Worlds, talking to people, reading local newspapers, available to anyone who had a cause to plead or an idea to share. In those days they called my council of advisors the "Council of Friends", did you know that? Then, I planned the Great Celebration, a year of Festivities to usher in the Fourth Millenium. My wife died; it saddened us all, but we decided to make the celebration her memorial. I don't mind telling you that I do better with a good woman in my life. No need to be jealous, my dear, you're very good at being a woman! The Great Celebration ... Catty Humphreys opposed it, of course. So did the Exituri. The spirit that rose, Bronwen! I told our people that I would not pursue military objectives until I knew I had their support. They united behind me. I stamped out corruption in our military. I married a new wife. The Federats attacked us in the midst of our celebration; we swatted them away like ants. We took on the Lyrans and Max Liao. In some ways, I wish I had died then. Max Liao. They say he's quite insane now. I hope he suffers. Always subverting us, sowing dissent. Getting Catty stirred up. Trying to get Christopher Halas to fight me - not much luck there! My brother, my son. He got to both of them. I hope he suffers long. Takashi Kurita stuffed him down my throat. For how many generations has House Marik wanted an alliance with Kurita? And to have the actual meeting taking place, the diplomats working on terms ... and he says that without Liao it's not going to happen? The Concord of Kapteyn! If Liao and Kurita were going to ally, and Hanse Davion was already allied to our old enemy the Lyrans, what could I do against either block? I had to ally with him. The three of us had a chance at smashing them. After all, Takashi mighthave been able to control that twisting weasel Liao. But when the war started all Takashi would think about was Wolf's Dragoons! He'd insisted on combined operations, and he'd insisted on control staying with him. Combined operations! Even Max and I cooperated better than the DCMF and our military! So I said, "Let's relax and enjoy the sights - we can pick up the pieces later!" I said that in a 'Private Family Gathering' - it's the one remark I can be sure will live after me! It's been misquoted across the Inner Sphere and back again. I think, in the entire year and a half of war, the combined staff met exactly twice! Takashi and his continual demands that I DO SOMETHING! I took a few pokes at the Lyrans on general principlels, and tried to keep that Humphreys woman from starting a war with Liao. I've dreamed of locking Takashi in a room with Catty Humphreys and seeing who comes out alive! Maybe if I were lucky, neither of them would! Ceding those planets to Ridzik. That was an error. I kept him negotiating all those months while Sortek pushed for action. There were our diplomats hammering out the final terms of a treaty - the next day they were all interned as enemy aliens! Once Liao, Liao always! And then I gave that territory back to the Lyrans. If you don't think that hurts! Takashi kepttelling me he had a plan! Ourintelligence people were convinced the Steiners were massing for an invasion; Sortek was readying a strike on the Liao front! I had to consolidate. I had to sacrifice. All the planets between Callison and Wyatt! Launam, Milton, Phecda, Timbiqui. You'll find those names written on my heart when I die! It was only one week, one week later, that I heard of Ridzik's assassination! If Max had indicated that he was taking any action, any action at all! If Takashi had offered - or had responded to my offers - any joint action on the Lyran Front ... Alliance! The Concord of Kapteyn is waste paper! Still... Max's realm is gutted. Takashi is weakened though nobody denies that a weakened Draconis Combine is still a dangerous thing to fool with. And our economy is whole; we're already gaining trade advantages over the Lyrans. They can't deliver; they've spent it all getting the daughter of the House a husband. Our forces are almost untouched. I was tricked into losing thirteen systems and much of our access to Kurita. But if the people will rally behind me, we have a chance to make some real gains while the Federation and the Commonwealth are still reeling from the war. You don't just win on the battlefield, you know! Thank you, Bronwen. It always does me good to talk things out. I feel better already. Give me your arm into the next room and we'll work on the measures for the spring parliamentary session. By the way, my dear, it's time to give up your fling with my hearty son Duggan. He'll never succeed me. And don't look at Duncan, my sister's son! You might as well enjoy your last years with the Old Man. Because the new one won't be as frivolous." There is a sound of two voices laughing; one sounds a bit uneasy. Footsteps move away. The tape clicks off.. Back to BattleTechnology 9 Table of Contents Back to BattleTechnology List of Issues Back to MagWeb Magazine List © Copyright 1990 by Pacific Rim Publishing. This article appears in MagWeb (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other military history articles and gaming articles are available at http://www.magweb.com