by J.D. Webster
EXCERPTS FROM THE ARIZONA AIR NATIONAL GUARD'S INCOMPLETE DICTIONARY OF "STUPID FIGHTER PILOT TERMINOLOGY" (This document really exists) Buffoon -- v. The art of porking something away, i.e. "he buffooned his way into the fur-ball and promptly had his manhood removed." Break -- v. The contraction of: "Sir, you are respectfully requested to displace your aircraft laterally from the bullet stream or you are one dead mother-f-----r." i.e., "Jesus Christ! Break Right, Break Right, He's on you, I'm Engaged!" Break -- n. The result of complying with the aforementioned verb. ~ Cludo -- adj. The state of being clueless. Clueless -- adj. The normal state of affairs for Coneheads and management staff. An intellectual vacuum most pronounced just prior to the arrival of a cluebird. A realization that your cluebag is empty. Cluebag -- n. A container, usually more emptyt han full, which represents your immediate knowledge of the current tactical situation. Cluebird -- n. A replenisher of cluebags. The sudden arrival of the realization that you have f----d up. A colloquialism for a flash of insight, usually too late to save you from starring in somebody else's gun camera film. Conehead -- n. An interceptor pilot with little grasp of reality. (SEE F-15 DRIVER) Back to Table of Contents -- Air Power # 21 Back to Air Power List of Issues Back to MagWeb Magazine List © Copyright 1992 by J.D. Webster This article appears in MagWeb.com (Magazine Web) on the Internet World Wide Web. Other articles from military history and related magazines are available at http://www.magweb.com |