The Last Thing

Editorial

by Dave Watkins

Last night I rather enjoyed a “Meet the Ancestors” programme on TV, which was about the mass grave of the Grande Armée at Vilnius, that we reported last year. Keep an eye out for it if you missed it, I dare say it will be repeated all around the world, on various History and Documentary channels. It was well put together using footage of re-enactors, the annual Borodino re-fight, film of what can only be described as the inhospitable country side along the retreat, and footage from various cinematic releases. Look out for the impressive Imperial Guard Grenadier column (not re-enctors!).

For some reason the Russian gent who plays Napoleon at the Borodino reenactment put me in mind of two things; 1. Put a short stocky bloke in a big hat and great coat and he really believes he is Napoleon (Scary!). 2. An incident in 1994 when Mike Freeman, then head of the UK Napoleonic Association dragged me off to Waterloo, to observe an organisational meeting for the ‘95 Waterloo reenactment.

For some reason the Germans were in charge of the show, and we gathered in a small room, a motley crew of Brits, French, Belgians, Dutch and Italians, I think there was a token Yank too!

The large German in charge started dictating the course of events in German and at some speed. Quite a lot of people, including myself started to look around bemused. Surely, I thought, the most commonly understood language in this room is English! Perhaps even French - as we were all Napoleonic nuts! - even the Brits could have muddled through in French! The Dutch and Belgians appeared to make dark mutterings about ‘45, everyone else appeared to sit there and tried to look like they understood what the hell was going on!

Then it all went Monty Python on me, a question was asked by a Frenchman, in English, the reply came back in strident Deutsch! Mike asked a question in English and got a Teutonic reply! I asked a question in French, that loosely translated as “Why is my Aunt’s pen lodged in my donkey”, (my spoken French being on a par with my knowledge of Swahili!), again this met with a knowing Germanic response involving La Hay Sante! I desperately tried to goad a Belgian into asking a question in Spanish ... but he wouldn’t bite!

So if you were wondering how Waterloo could possibly have been a German victory ... its simple! Nobody had a bloody clue what was going on!


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