Mr Punch Joins The Army
Mr. Punch was not a happy man. His wife, Judy, had told him that he had to look after the baby, which was a chore that he did not like. In fact, he disliked it so much, that he threw the baby out of the window! When Judy discovered this, she set about him with a rolling pin. Mr Punch fought back, and unfortunately killed Judy. What was he to do? First, he decided to bury Judy in the garden. But what if someone found out!
Just at that moment, who should come along, but the Recruiting Sergeant! 'You're a fine figure of a man!' said the Recruiting Sergeant, 'Just the sort of man The British Army is looking for to fight the French in Spain!' Mr Punch saw his chance to hide from his dastardly deed, so he took the King's Shilling.
And so Mr Punch and the Recruiting Sergeant marched off to Spain.
One day, Private Mr Punch was on sentry duty in Spain, when he was attacked by none other than The French Eagle! After a fierce struggle, Mr Punch managed to kill The French Eagle, and for this he was given an extra ration of gin. However, when the Emperor Napoleon heard that his French Eagle had been defeated in Spain, he decided to go there for himself and avenge this insult to France!
One day, Private Mr Punch was on sentry duty yet again in Spain. Unbeknown to him, the Emperor Napoleon was hiding in the bushes, waiting for his chance to kill Mr Punch. "I vill kill zat Mon-sieur Punch, as 'e as killed mon French Eagle!" (Adopt a French accent while reading that bit). Mr Punch continued marching up and down on sentry duty; "I have heard that the Corsican tyrant Napoleon is coming to get me. But he won't find me!" "Oh yes he will!" "Oh no he won't!" "He's behind you!" (This section allows the whole family to join in ).
Napoleon suddenly pounced on Mr Punch! Mr Punch fought back, and the conflict raged back and forth for a long time, until Mr Punch shot and killed Napoleon.
Private Mr Punch became a hero. He went back to England where he was knighted and became known as Sir Mr Punch. On going home, he discovered that Judy was not dead after all, and still wanted him to look after the baby! So there ends the tale of Mr Punch Joins The Army.
Before you throw this magazine down in disgust and write an irate letter to Dave recommending that the writer of this column is given psycotherapy, let me explain how this story came about.
I recently visited Portchester Castle where English Heritage was staging a Regency Fair of the year 1814. When Napoleon was de-posed in 1814, all Europe celebrated peace. Throughout this country the people celebrated with fairs and dinners, complete with all sorts of amusements. The event held at the Castle was a re-enactment of just such a fair, where folk could enjoy music, entertainments, games, eating and drinking; all to celebrate the 'Great and Glorious Peace' of 1814.
Portchester castle is an appropriate place to stage such an event, as it was one of the largest War Prisons during the Napoleonic Wars, home to 7,000 prisoners of war.
Visitors to the Fair could listen to the duo Hautbois performing popular music of the time in the Keep. A large group calling themselves The Madding Crowd entertained people with music, dance and games. This organisation recreates 'Hardy's Wessex' (hence their title), complete with a village band and a recreated village wedding. All their members wear period civilian dress, and present a very good impression of civilian life of the early nineteenth century. The Salon provided further civilian and military characters promenading about the castle grounds, or dining beneath their tent, waited upon by a uniformed servant.
Members of the Napoleonic Association were in attendance to demonstrate the tactics and drill of the Napoleonic period. The 42nd Foot marched and fired volleys of musketry in line, while the green-coated 95th Rifles provided skirmishers ahead of the redcoats. After the infantry had paraded for the public, the thunder of hooves could be heard as the 12th (Prince of Wales) Light Dragoons galloped around the field. This exciting display demonstrated the use of the pistol and sword by light cavalry, and those members of the public to the front of the troopers when they demonstrated the Charge must have experienced the same feelings of apprehension that many a Napoleonic foot soldier felt when faced by cavalry.
However, the most amusing entertainment that weekend was provided by Cato Bandog Esquire (alias one Stephen Wisdom and Co.), who staged a number of amusements typical of the entertainment avail-able during the period in villages the length and breadth of the country. Mr Punch Joins The Army was a very funny Napoleonic version of the old Punch and Judy puppet show. 'Hearts of Oak' was a lively sea battle with three wooden model ships and lots of fireworks. This was a small version of an event staged in Hyde Park in 1814, in which a whole fleet of Royal Navy ships defeated a French force. The ships were pulled along the ground by ropes and opened fire upon each other with fireworks. A spectacular display.
Cato Bandog (ex-His Majesty's 95th Regiment of Foot, trying to earn a few coins by providing simple but patriotic entertainment for his countrymen) also presented a Wild Man to a rather frightened group of spectators. This Wild Man was sold to Cato by a sailor, who acquired him on a trip to the Far East. The Wild Man was so wild that he had to be permanently tied to a stake. Cato fed him on raw potatoes, which probably accounts for him being wild. An amusing and very lively show.
Visitors to the Regency Fair could try their hand at period games provided by Double Time, including 'Knock Down Napoleon' skittles and a Coconut Shy.
All these events brought the period to life in a very entertaining and spectacular way. We tend to look only at the military side of the period, and forget that there was a civilian aspect to the era we study. English Heritage stage this type of event each year, and it is certainly worth going to see. There is fun and frolics for all the family, and members of the public are invited to participate in some of the dancing and games. But don't go too near the Wild Man!
Date: Sunday 27th November 1994
Ian Fletcher will present a paper entitled 'Aspects of the Peninsula war Through the Eyes of a Subaltern', based on the unpublished letters and diaries of John Mills, who served with the Coldstream Guards between 1810 and 1814.
Jack Gill will present 'German Troops in the Peninsula'. Many of the troops that fought in the French Armies in Spain and Portugal consisted of soldiers from the German States allied to France. This is their story.
Cost of Study Day: £ 25 - This includes lunch and a trip to the Royal Green Jackets Museum.
PENINSULA STUDY DAY - presented by the Napoleonic Association
Venue: Winchester College, Hampshire
Speakers:
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