Anti Magic: The Gathering Shell: A fairly recent phenomenon, this is the moratorium a GM puts on playing any collectible card game by any player during a normal RPG session.

Athaclena Syndrome: In fantasy and science fiction campaigns, the mysterious attraction PCs have for non-humans (Elves, Vargr, Vulcans, etc.) in romantic encounters. Named after a character in The Uplift War, by David Brin.

Baby Face Rule: In fantasy and horror campaigns, any child or seemingly innocent creature found alone in a dungeon is actually a soul-sucking monster in disguise.

Bad Guy Lighting Rule: The headquarters of a master villain will always be poorly lit.

Bad Karma Rule: Used by some GMs to keep "evil" PCs in line. For every hideously evil action committed by a PC (murder, treason, etc.), the GM imposes an equally bad action on the PC (poor luck, powerful new enemies, revenge-crazed clansmen, etc.) at some undisclosed and very inconvenient point in the future.

Bimbo Book: Any published RPG, supplement, or scenario that looks great but whose material is only 10% worth reading.

Boy Wonder: Any NPC who exists for the sole purpose of being captured and subsequently rescued.

Brick: Any PC or NPC who can absorb a lot of punishment in combat.

Card Curmudgeon: Any die-hard role-player who still believes collectible card games are just a fad.

Card War Party: The crowd of eager, anxious Card Warriors that gather at the hobby store whenever there is a shipment of new Magic: the Gathering expansion sets.

Card Warrior: Anyone who has given up RPGs to play collectible card games exclusively.

Chainmail Bikini Rule: In most fantasy art and gaming material, a female character's breast size is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing she usually wears. In other words, the more well-endowed she is, the less clothing she will wear.

Chariots of Slime Rule: In any horror game, a typical monster will always be able to outrun a typical PC.

Chuck Monster: Any monster specifically designed to neutralize a particularly annoying and game-wrecking PC. ("Gee, Chuck, your dwarf was swallowed whole by that purple worm, I guess he can't keep singing 'On Top Of Ol' Smokey' at the top of his lungs in that Dragon Lich's lair.") Named after an infamous local player.

Clone Game: Any game whose theme, background, and/or mechanics closely resemble another, much more popular game.

Con Warrior: Any non-professional who attends three or more gaming conventions in a single year. Construction Sign: Any not-too-subtle hint given by the GM that the part of the dungeon the party was about to enter isn't mapped out yet.

Continuity Cop: Any player who constantly whines about minor inconstancies and mistakes made by the GM. ("But you said Lord Farstar was wearing a red cloak. How come he's wearing a blue one now?")

Cthulhu in a Can: 1. Common to many campaigns, any device or artifact that will bring hideous, untold DOOM upon all the world or some such if ever opened, used, or activated. 2. The ultimate throw-and-run-like-hell weapon.

Dark Corner Rule: All taverns in a game campaign always have at least one corner that is dimly lit and empty except for a brooding and/or mysterious figure who is drinking alone.

Dead Parent Syndrome: In most character backgrounds, the player will list the parents of the PC either as dead or as having orphaned the PC shortly after his birth.

Deus ex Machina Device: In science-fiction campaigns, any device that possesses miraculous, god-like powers. (The transporters from Star Trek, for example, which can duplicate matter, split beings into good and evil halves, cure diseases, transverse time, and pierce dimensional barriers,)

Dice Junkie: Any player who owns more dice than socks.

Die Hard: Any gamer who avidly plays an outdated or out-of-print game (2300 AD, 1st edition Gamma World, etc.)

Dirty Pair Rule: Any PC party, when in a desperate fight, will cause collateral property damage in direct proportion to the amount of firepower they can bring to bear.

Doctor Doom Rule: No really cool villain will ever stay permanently dead.

Dragon Bait: Any NPC on point.

Einstein: Any player who repeatedly points out the scientific inconsistencies in a science fiction game's background or system.

Emergence Phenomenon: Most PCs, no matter their original background, conception, or quirks, will eventually adopt the core personality of the person playing them

Empty Room Phenomenon: In a fantasy game dungeon crawl, this is the absolute conviction held by players that a completely empty, mundane room has to hold some hidden secret. ("I know we've been searching for two hours, but there just has to be a secret door here somewhere!")

Evil Brunette Rule: No powerful villainess in the history of gaming has ever been a natural blond.

Evil Corporation Rule: With the exception of Marc hault Oberlindes from Traveller, no campaign-world corporation in the history of gaming has ever had a board member, president, or CEO who was a decent guy.

Evil Grin Rule: Any time the GM smiles broadly without saying anything, it is a solid bet that something very, very awful is about to happen to the party.

Extra: Any NPC who has very minimal interaction with the party (pedestrians the PCs pass on the street, for instance).

Femme Fatale Rule: In most campaigns, it is inevitable that any attractive, recurring female adversary will become infatuated with a male PC.

Flimsy Box Rule: Any box containing a RPG will never outlast the material it contains.

Flying Fists of Death Syndrome: With martial-artist, magicuser, and super-hero PCs, the tendency of such characters to use the fanciest method at their disposal to take out an opponent when something much simpler will suffice. ("Why should I just shoot him when I can give him what-for with my Atomic Cybernetic Fingers of Hideous Evisceration?")

Game Master's Golden Rule: It is the people who play the game, not any particular game's background, characters, style or system, that makes a RPG session enjoyable.

Game Smart, Life Stupid: Anyone who can rattle off the level, area of effect, and range of every spell in the AD&D game but can't find his home state on a map.

Gamer's Best Friend: The photocopier.

Gamer's Golden Rule: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Gamer's Platinum Rule: Be paranoid enough for everybody.

Gamer's Silver Rule: Never join a party with anyone braver than you are.

Gamespeak: Any text of a RPG rulebook that gets bogged down in dense, obscure rule references ("To calculate a Heroic Fighter Dragon's Courage Aptitude requires the Player to take the average of the Strength, Fortitude, and Stupid Attributes, adding the result to 1d20 x the Boasting Skill Level, taking the square root, and cross-referencing that number on the Bravery Action Multiplier Table.")

Garage Game: Any small-press RPG or supplement (i.e., games, sometimes very good ones, that look like they were put together and printed in someone's garage.)

Gloom and Doom Game: Any RPG whose campaign background is unrelentingly depressing.

God's Second Cousin: In horror RPGs, the characters in a game's background who are so immensely powerful that they could smear the entire party instantly if they ever met (Cthulhu in Chaosium's Call of Cthulhu or Cain in White Wolf's Vampire: The Masquerade, for example).

Groom Go Kaboom Syndrome: No wedding ceremony in any game campaign will ever be routine.

Guest Star:This is a character or close facsimile thereof that the GM "imports" from some other source for use in the game. In fantasy campaigns, Conan, Gandalf, and Robin Hood are the most common guest stars. In science-fiction games, expect to see Aliens, HAL 9000, and Han Solo.

Hack and Slash: A style of play where the main thrust of the adventure is near-constant combat.

Hulk Smash Syndrome: The amount of destructive power available to the PCs is inversely proportional to how often they use their wits to solve problems. In other words, the more power a party has, the less inclined they will be to use their brains.

Illuminated Ignoramus:Any player who thinks playing a pretentious, gloom and doom RPG will somehow make him cooler than other gamers.

Land Shark Syndrome: The extreme paranoia adopted by all parties at one time or anotherl when they expect to be attacked at any time, anywhere, by anyone, under any circumstances, no matter how mundane. ("You're no barmaid, but an evil zombie agent of the Lich Lord of long-lost Acheron! Admit it!")

Last NPC Rule: When marching single-file in a dungeon or other darkened area, any NPC bringing up the rear of the party will always mysteriously disappear.

Lead Head: An avid miniature wargamer or collector.

Lead: Any NPC who has a prominent role in an adventure or campaign. Also known as a Focus NPC.

Locked Room Ecology: In fantasy adventures, the curious phenomenon of monsters in remote dungeons surviving for years in small, locked rooms with no apparent source of food.

Lugosi: Any player of White Wolf's Vampire: the Masquerade game who dresses like a vampire, walks like the undead, wonders what blood tastes like, or otherwise takes the game way too seriously.

Magic Miser: In a fantasy game, any magic-capable PC who refuses to use his spells except in the most dire circumstances. ("Why should I use my Fireball spell? It's only a horde of dragons led by Dracula and Cthulhu.")

Manga Maniac: Any gamer who exclusively uses Japanese comics and animation as inspirations for characters and adventures.

McCoy: Any player who repeatedly states the obvious. ("He's dead, Jim.") Also known as a MOTO (Master Of The Obvious).

Meatball Sub Incident: Any diplomatic encounter the party botches horribly. (Named after an incident in a Traveller campaign, during the party's critical meeting with an alien race of hideously violent and xenophobic vegetarians called the K'Kree, in which a PC ate a meatball sub just to annoy them.)

Mech Head: Anyone who plays the Battletech game to the exclusion of all others.

MF Squad: Any collection of two or more Monster Fodders (q.v.). A common practice is for each such NPC to wear a jersey with the initials "MF" and a number on it (MF #01, MF #02, etc.)

Miss Haversham Syndrome: In a fantasy campaign, this is where the PCs will spend weeks or even months without ever seeming to change their clothes. ("Sure I sleep in this armor. What's your point?")

Modulitis: When using a store-bought adventure, the phenomenon of having the game come to a twenty-minute halt while the GM searches frantically through the module for some important but obscure reference.

Monster Fodder: Any NPC hired by the party for the sole purpose of drawing enemy attacks.

Monty Haul Campaign: Any game campaign where the party is allowed to haul off unbelievable amounts of treasure with no regard to game balance.

Monty Python Syndrome: In a fantasy game campaign, it is inevitable that one player or another will make numerous references to Monty Python and the Holy Grail or some other Monty Python work. ("It's only a flesh wound"; "Let's not go to Camelot — 'tis a silly place"; and "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" are the most common such outbursts,)

Mundane: Slang for any non-gamer.

Pinch Hitter: Any player who temporarily plays the PC of an absent player.

Pocket Doc: Any NPC hired for the sole purpose of rendering medical attention to the party during an adventure.

Porthos Rule: Any NPC opponent who laughs good-naturedly during a duel, bar or street fight will end up being the party's friend.

Power Gamer: Any player whose main goal in the game is to acquire as much power and treasure as possible for his PC.

Protection from Hygiene, 10' Radius: Closely related to the Miss Haversham Syndrome, this is when the party will apparently go weeks or even months without attending to personal hygiene. For example, no PC, when entering a huge dungeon complex, will ever pack along soap or a toothbrush.

Rescue the Princess: By far the most commonly overused plot in all of gamedom, this is where the PCs are required to rescue someone who was kidnaped and is being held against his or her will in a hard-to-reach and heavily guarded stronghold.

Retroactive Relationship Device:A plot device used by game designers to get the party into an adventure by introducing, and then immediately killing, an NPC who was a friend or romantic interest of a PC at some time during the past.

Right-Hand Bias Rule: On any dungeon map, the majority of the "good stuff" to be found by PCs will usually be on the right-hand side of the map.

Romantic Foil: Any NPC romantic interest of a PC.

Rubber Suit Syndrome: In science-fiction games, the tendency of GMs and players to portray aliens both physically and psychologically as 20th-century Americans in rubber suits instead of non-humans from strange worlds, divergent evolutionary paths, and unique cultures.

Rules Lawyer: Any player who insists that the game be played precisely according to the published rules with no deviations, and who constantly points out rule inconsistencies to the GM.

Scotty Special: In modern-day and science fiction campaigns, the ability of a mechanically-inclined PC to whip up some ingenuous device not anticipated by the GM that solves all of the party's immediate problems.

Signature Style: Every major game company has at least one distinctive creative emphasis that distinguishes it from the competition. (For instance, TSR's polish, White Wolf's gloominess, GDW's ultra-realism, Chaosium's elegance, etc.)

Snooky-Wookums Syndrome: The phenomenon of the PC of the GM's girlfriend always getting the neatest magic items and/or the best role-playing encounters during a game session.

SOP: 1. n. Any Standard Operational Procedure the party establishes to deal with a familiar, recurring situation, like checking for traps at a locked door or scanning a star system. 2. v. The act of using a SOP. ("I'm going to SOP the treasure chest, Bob.")

Spectral Janitor Phenomenon: The corridors and rooms in a dungeon will always be mysteriously clean and free from organic detritus, despite the presence of dozens of unintelligent wandering monsters and no bathrooms.

Spidey Sense Rule: Whenever the DM states that a PC gets a "bad feeling" when the party enters a room or area, it is a good bet that something very, very awful is about to happen.

Spit and Polish Rule: Upon entering any tavern in a RPG adventure, the bartender will always be seen polishing glasses,

Stand-In: Any PC created as a contingency in case the player's primary PC dies.

Starry-Eyed Rule: Every gaming group has at least one member who hopes to be a professional science-fiction writer, fantasy artist, or game designer.

Stock NPC: A generic or sterotyped NPC (the slinky, seductive villainess or the grim, cynical veteran, for example).

Strange Bedfellows Game: Any RPG that combines two disparate genres; FASA's Shadowrun (cyberpunk and fantasy) and GDW's Space: 1889 (space opera and victorian), for example.

Stupid Wish Syndrome: No PC will ever use a Wish in his possession to its fullest possible potential. (The only character from any source who ever has is, of course, Jafar from Disney's Aladdin: "I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!")

Teen-age Girl Rule: Any recurring teenage female NPC in a campaign will eventually develop a crush on a male PC.

Thesaurus Rex: Any character who has an unnecessarily complicated and ultra-colorful name. ("Theodora Beliza Illusia Starkiller Twilightbane of Phantasia Forest the Third.")

Tolkein Effect: The tendency of game designers to capitalize every other word to make a game's background sound grand and lofty. ("The Emperor Star of Whales used the Spiral Staircase of Cormeer to conquer the Hoary High Dragon Lords of Sludge.")

Troubled Crown Rule: Any benevolent monarch the PCs know personally will always have a) an attractive daughter of marriagable age, b) an impetuous son, or c) a scheming advisor.

Twin Peaks Syndrome: 1. The substitution of an unrelated collection of weird, compulsive, or psychotic behaviors in place of real characterization in PCs and NPCs. 2. The proliferation of such NPCs in a game world to the exclusion of all other types of characters.

Villain's Monologue: A hold-over from movies and comic books, the point in an adventure during which the main villain will stupidly reveal all of his plans to the captured or otherwise seemingly-helpless PCs, giving the party time to think of a way out.

Waldorf: Any PC who is allowed to reach ludicrous levels of power in a campaign.

Walk-On: Any NPC who has only minor interactions with the PCs. (shopowners, barkeeps, bowling partners, etc.)

Wire Head: Any avid cyberpunk gamer.

Wish Fulfillment Syndrome: This is the phenomenon of PCs performing outrageous or incongruent actions in a campaign in order to fulfill the fantasies of the persons playing them. (A paladin and a dwarf forming a rock band, for instance.)

Z-R Rule: Most made-up character names will either have a Z, an R, or both in them. ("Zalon," "Rallod," "Zeron," etc.)

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© Copyright 1996 by Alderac Entertainment Group